Love and blessings from the home of the god
Arguments have become a part of many people's daily life, which has anger, frustration, sadness, hatred, and anxiety attached. The emotion which gets created after entangling in a dispute becomes a starter for our next task, how many times u have seen people who burst their anger at one thing on another.
Nowadays Clashes serve as the basis of the collapse of relationships, murder or wars between two countries. everyone knows the consequence of a skirmish then why do we continue behaving in the same manner which gives birth to a conflict. this is because we haven't understood the reason for an argument.
Having known and witnessed the effect of confrontations we have to learn how to avoid a conflict or not evolve in them.
Things u need to remember to avoid arguments
1. Everyone has their own opinion
Think about it or remind yourself from your experience, when a conflict has arisen? aren't they the times when your opinion has not matched with others? u want something to happen in a particular way but others think this should happen the way they think is best. if u think red flowers will look nice in the pot but another think pink would look nice this little thing is enough for us to argue the rightness of our opinion. To stop creating disputes u have to admit everyone has their own choice and they feel it is best just like u feel yours is best.
2. Your opinion need not be agreed always
This is so important, we think things should happen our way and this is the cause of the issue and this bars us from seeing mistakes in our opinion if we are not open enough to accept ideas of others we will be promoting wrong thing, think of it why we support our opinion? -to do thing best .but the way others know can even better to do that thing best than ours because be honest no one knows best about everything hence put your ego aside and give a chance to the opinion of others, who knows, it can turn to be the best.
3. Don't get attached to your opinion
As it is evident that everyone has their own opinion, so it is true that they are not FALSE their judgments are best based on what they have experienced in their life hence they feel this is the way thing works, and your opinion is based on what u have experienced in your life .truely speaking no one is wrong it is just that we never checked our opinions and without checking we believed them to be true hence be open and accept the opinion of others. think about it then take a turn, u will know the deepest and best things only with mental openness. remind yourself what I think is true for me it need not be true universally.
4. Live in the moment
Many times arguments happen just due to the projection of future events, one thinks this team will win other think they will lose and both start giving reasons for their judgments as to right. Start living in the moment, this argument happens because we are so attached to happiness we think we will get after a certain thing has happened. If our bliss is not dependent on some future occurrences then it will not matter to us who will win or what will happen hence be in the present.
5. Learn the right way to put your opinion
You should not try to fever your opinion only that does not mean u should abandon your opinion because thinking a little bit, I should not try to prove my opinion as right is itself an opinion .then what to do? There is a difference between telling and justifying your judgment, Lend a reason for having some notion, give it and leave it whether the opponent going to accept it or not is his own decision based on their way of thinking.
We all are giving reasons for our opinion being right, then what do I mean by giving a rationale for our opinion is first to check your own beliefs ask is this right, know that whatever u know till this moment of your life was told to u by someone else which formed a belief or opinion, most of our beliefs has been made when we were 3 or 5. till 10 we had our own set of beliefs gathered from people around us about how the world functions and what it is .your opinions are not yours hence give time to contemplate on your own opinions, ask is this true? then only form an opinion and only then u can explain your notion with the right attitude.
6. listen carefully
Conservation is both talking and listening but when we have so many to speak we do not listen, others might be saying something true but we may mishear it or misinterpret it. there is no firm reason for conflict in this but it has happened just because we haven't paused to listen, then this type of clash is given the name- of misunderstanding which means we are fighting for the thing which does not exist hence in conversation do not just sit bodily or to speak only but remember to listen, opposite person.
7. solve the conflict in a relationship
Arguing with a partner has become a common norm, but we don't want it for sure. Clashes in judgements for family, children or future are the factors involved in couples' arguments. rather than trying to manage with your partner u must choose your partner wisely before marriage or even being in a relationship, possibly that person is not best for u hence if u are unmarried don't rush to find the best one. Allow the universe to evolve a better future for u, it has only the best in its mind for u.
What to do with an argument between couples
• give up the partner's ego, know that your partner has his /her own sets of beliefs, it's not necessary that they must always accept your opinion.
•Show the love that u have -many people shy to show love for their partner, remember if u can't show your love how u can even love, this doesn't mean u have to be with your 24 hours or listen to whatever they say but a respectful and unconditional love.
•respect your partner's perception about things .don't just gossip to someone about what is happening in your love life if u don't know what to do, talk about the solution not about the problem with the right person who u believe can bring u out of the skirmish or best is to talk with your partner directly and healing misunderstandings because people's thoughts affect your relationship, how people think about your relationship is what they are radiating to your relationship if they are thinking negative your already sick relationship is bringing more negative energy and this will only excel the problem.
•The reason why u love a person should have some spiritual basis in it, what do I mean by this is your love should not be limited to body or looks or even their presence .but to the essence of who they are. your relationship must help u to grow, a relationship leading to stagnation will end up in arguments, blames and guilt.
Lastly, I want u to encourage u to churn your viewpoints to see whether it is universally true or u have just taken them from your environment and living a false reality because opinion is not just limited to what should be the colour of your dress, who should be the leader of the country, which culture is best, what should be the logo of the company and so on, it is indeed very subtle, for that u need a churning staff which is Daily mindfulness and meditation practice, this method allows u to see a thing without judgements and this is the best way to check the authenticity of our beliefs
Remember, you are what u think and what creates your thoughts is your beliefs, opinions, and judgment about life. start changing them u will a positive shift in the way u function in your life.
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